High-achieving teenagers are in a constant state of
‘doing’. Doing homework, going to
school, practicing a skill…auditioning, competing, applying, volunteering,
working, socializing – trying to do everything they are told to do in order to
get ahead of the pack and succeed.
Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author says,
"Overscheduling our children is not only a widespread phenomenon, it's how
we parent today.” He explains how “parents
feel remiss that they're not being good parents if their kids aren't in all
kinds of activities.” According to psychologist
Jean Twenge’s analysis of research spanning five decades, today’s adolescents
are overtaxed, overburdened, and stressed to a degree that was once seen only
in child psychiatric patients.
In today’s society, it can feel like if we’re not doing
something, it means that we are complacent, lazy, or a failure. For some, it is a part of family values or
culture to always be doing. For others,
the fear of missing out provokes too much anxiety, sadness, or feelings of
isolation, especially when friends will be talking about it afterwards or
posting pictures on social media. For many, it is the fear of falling behind, the
fear of letting someone down, or the terrifying thought that our entire life
will fall apart unless we keep doing everything all the time – that is, until
we crash or burnout.
The best treatment is actually what feels most
counterintuitive: slow down. However, there is compelling evidence that shows how
slowing down can actually improve productiveness and increase happiness. Consider these examples:
1.
Slowing
down prevents burnout. Burnout is a
symptom that most of us experience at some point in our lives, and guarantees a
longer and more difficult process when it comes to achieving our goals. By slowing down, moving at a gentler pace and
respecting the natural process, the less likely you will become fatigued,
anxious, depressed, or get sick.
2.
Slowing
down helps you gain clarity and make better decisions. As everything moves
a bit too fast it is easy to get lost. Slowing down lets us reconnect with what is
most important to us, allows us to gain multiple perspectives and to think
things through in a calm and clear way.
3.
Slowing
down helps us make fewer mistakes. Slowing your pace to be more meticulous
and measured means that you will probably make fewer mistakes. And the mistakes
you do make will be much easier to understand and correct.
4.
Slowing
down reduces stress levels. Research
on mindfulness meditation (one practice of slowing down) has been shown to not
only be beneficial for stress reduction, but also help your brain develop a
greater capacity for cognitive tasks, attention and focus.
5.
Slowing
down helps us enjoy the present moment. More activities in the absence of quality slow
time do not make for a better life either for you or your family. Slowing down and having unscheduled,
spontaneous and unplanned time for yourself and your family is critical to both
work-life balance and feeling happier.
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