The social changes associated with being a t(w)een are difficult enough, but the physical aspects of growth can create problems, too. Growth for t(w)eens naturally occurs starting from the extremities and working toward the center of the body, resulting in a cruel biological design of larger hands, feet, ears, and noses. Additional hormones can stimulate changes to metabolism, which can result in the body creating new fat stores or other awkward physical changes. All of this occurs at a time when t(w)een media and friendships emphasize ideal body shapes. How do t(w)eens cope with all of this?
Learning to Worry
T(w)eens today are encouraged to worry about their bodies. TV shows, movies, magazines, and the internet constantly reinforce the idea that being thin is necessary to being a great person. If it’s not messages about being skinny, t(w)eens are receiving more input about being overweight, too. As health officials and government agencies pressure schools to help fight against childhood obesity rates, these messages get passed along to the students, too.
Efforts to teach children to lead healthy lifestyles can easily go down the wrong path. The recent book, “Maggie Goes on a Diet” follows the main character’s struggles against being called “fatty” and “chubby” at school. Through the story, 14-year-old Maggie changes her eating habits and begins exercising nearly every day. She joins the soccer team and loses weight, resulting in her becoming healthier, happier, and more popular. Among the criticisms of the book are that it promotes body image issues too early in childhood, and it expresses that children should go on diets. Now should be the time to mention that amazon.com lists this title at the reading level between ages 4 and 8. For many children, this is only shortly after they have learned from Sesame Street that cookies are best left as a “sometimes food.”
By the time that these children reach their t(w)eenage years, they will have been exposed to countless diet references and ideal, but unattainable bodies. The magazines they see feature airbrushed models who have a team of professionals create the model and the image. I encourage parents to sit down with their t(w)eens and watch the YouTube video titled “Dove Evolution” to show how much effort goes into these transformations. A 2009 study showed that t(w)een girls who watched the video were more likely to maintain healthy body images.
What to Watch For
More often than not, the pressure is on girls to be skinny. Without knowing how to talk to their parents, these girls can exhibit unhealthy behaviors surrounding foods and eating. These behaviors can include suddenly losing weight without explanation, making excuses about not being hungry, making excuses to go to the bathroom right after eating, exercising too much, perfectionism, and withdrawing from social activities. Typically eating disorder behaviors develop in girls between ages 11 and 14, but it is becomingly increasingly common to see the behaviors as early as age 7.
Although not contagious, eating disorders can be heavily influenced by peer pressure. According to multiple studies, 40% of t(w)een girls are actively trying to lose weight or diet, and the number one predictor of these behaviors is the number of a girl’s friends that are attempting to lose weight. It may not be easy for parents to find out about the dieting patterns of their daughter’s friends, but one way is to listen for the descriptions that the daughter gives about her friends. If these descriptions focus heavily on appearance and stories about how much or little a friend eats, it may be time to open up more conversations about the girl’s beliefs about food, eating, and body image.
The Inner Struggle
Whether or not a t(w)een meets the behavioral criteria for an eating disorder, there is an immense internal struggle that accompanies a negative body image. Not only is there the effort to change the shape of the body, but the inability to reach the perfect body can lead to feelings of worthlessness and depression. In turn, these feelings can contribute to even more of the damaging behaviors. Additionally, the lack of nutrition resulting from such behaviors can lead to difficulties in paying attention, headaches, dizziness, and mood swings.
For these t(w)eens, their body image is their identity. They are constantly stuck in a mode of “feeling fat” or that “losing 10 more pounds will make me a better person.” In a never-ending cycle, those 10 pounds aren’t ever enough, and a new goal is set. They may hide their “disgusting” bodies from other people by wearing extra clothing, and they may avoid going to social gatherings to avoid having to be around food.
Additionally, the stigmas about being overweight or obese further contribute to the notion that the people who can control their bodies are better. A 2009 BBC report suggests that the overweight population is one of the last groups that can be openly discriminated against. For the 16-24% of t(w)eens in this group, there is an added component of bullying contributing to feelings of low self-worth.
Boys aren’t immune to these pressures, either. As many as 10% of diagnosed eating disorders occur in males, usually in those who participate in sports related to weight classes, such as wrestling. But this doesn’t mean that male t(w)eens don’t have body image issues if they don’t qualify for an eating disorder. Social attitudes toward males suggest that boys should have giant muscles and toned abs.
Perhaps one of the most cited comparisons for body images comes from children’s toys. Many people may be familiar with the real-life comparison of Barbie dolls. If she were a real person, she would be approximately 6’9” tall with a 41” bust and a 20” waist, which are proportions that would make her physically unable to stand. Boys face similar messages with GI Joes. If a real person, he would be 5’9” with a 55” chest and 27” biceps.
The Family’s Contributions
Families can also set the tone for negative body images. Attitudes about eating and food can be learned by children of all ages. If one or both parents makes negative comments about their bodies or about eating too much, their t(w)eens can learn to apply these rules to themselves. Even worse, if a parent or older sibling is exhibiting eating disorder behaviors, a t(w)een is more likely to show those behaviors, too. In one case, a mother reported that her two-year-old daughter attempted to purge after a meal because she had witnessed her mother do it so many times.
Families can help t(w)eens develop positive body images, too. One of the best ways to develop healthy eating habits in t(w)eens is to have healthy eating habits as a family. This means having family dinners around and enjoying each other’s company. You can also change the way that you speak about your body and other people’s bodies. Rather than complaining about needing to diet, send a positive message by saying how healthy you feel after eating a well-balanced meal.
Naming your feelings is a positive technique to use to help influence a positive body image. Replace statements such as “I feel fat and disgusting” with “I’m feeling lonely”. These thoughts may be triggered by anger, sadness, or depression. By expressing your emotions appropriately, you are sending the message that you are not controlled by the image of your body.
Creating a new voice for body images and eating habits takes time and practice. Replacing your own crash dieting habits with healthy lifestyle goals takes commitment, but maintaining these goals helps set positive behaviors in your t(w)eens. Set an evening or time each week for the family to be active together and commit to setting a positive example for your t(w)eens, including being open about unrealistic body image. Being open and honest with your t(w)eens will help set the tone for a lifetime of healthy behaviors.
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