The path through adolescence is paved with changes. Along with the physical, social, and psychological changes, the education system changes for your t(w)eens. By extension, this means that things will change for parents, too. Once past elementary school, the schoolwork changes not only in difficulty, but volume as well. T(w)eens each have their own ways to adapt to this additional stress.
Warning: Science Ahead
The human brain takes about 25 years to fully develop, although it reaches about 90% of it’s maximum size by the age of six. Most head growth after this time is actually the thickening of the skull, not the expansion of the brain. Changes starting at about age twelve explain many t(w)een behaviors. At this time, the brain begins a massive rewiring project, starting near the brain stem (the area of the brain that regulates most body functions responsible for living, such as breathing and blood circulation) and moving toward the prefrontal cortex (the front area of the brain responsible for decision making and risk evaluation). Not surprisingly, areas that become rewired first tend to function better earlier than areas that are rewired later during the process.
Unfortunately, this rewiring process takes place at times when the educational system becomes more difficult to navigate. The transition stages in the educational system tend to correspond with the transition stages in the brain. During the early stages of rewiring, the transition to middle school involves requiring new skills in time management, navigation, and organization. The next stage of rewiring, between fourteen and seventeen when risk-taking is at its highest, the educational system introduces concepts of non-tangential features and applied concepts. The last phases of rewiring correspond to the age when many t(w)eens are typically moving into the college system.
Many t(w)eens have difficulties during these transitions, and they can react to these problems in different ways. While they may have basic cognitive abilities, the capacity to adapt their behaviors and find solutions to their problems may not necessarily be present.
Left to their own devices
T(w)eens who are focused on their homework would seemingly be great, but when t(w)eens develop a pattern of ignoring friends to work on homework, the parents should be alarmed. In these cases, it is most likely that the t(w)eens have not yet developed the ability to organize their time or prioritize their responsibilities. Sometimes it also could mean that the t(w)eens have placed too much value on perfection, which means sacrificing other areas of life in order to reach unrealistic goals for grades. The t(w)eens may or may not recognize this sacrifice, but rarely will they admit to the pressure that they feel to get good grades. In many cases, the t(w)eens feel pressured to live up to high expectations from parents, whether or not that pressure is really there.
As the t(w)een brain develops more fully, in a process where the left and right halves of the brain develop more efficient connections, the problem solving abilities will improve. In the meantime, parents of this type of t(w)een should make sure that there are regular non-academic activities scheduled. As with everything else, the t(w)een’s interests may have changed over the last few months and new activities may need to be explored. It is also important to talk to your t(w)eens about what kinds of grades that they are expected to receive in school. In many cases, these conversations help to relieve some of the pressure that these t(w)eens feel and help to clarify any misunderstandings that might exist.
On the other hand…
More often, I have parents ask for help with a different type of homework approach. These parents usually ask for help with t(w)eens that have traditionally received good grades who are now ignoring homework, lying about the amount of homework, or taking hours to complete assignments that should only take a short period of time. There can be a variety of different causes for these problems, each with their own solutions.
Usually a parent’s first response to this problem is to take away privileges until the homework is completed. This is typically removing access from friends and electronics. In some cases, it is actually the friends and electronics that are causing the distractions, and this is a great way to address it if it is the problem. The key is to make sure that you set clear expectations surrounding homework and follow through on any consequences that you set. Once you are consistent enough with this program, your t(w)eens will begin to understand that homework must be completed before playtime.
However, there are other causes for these behaviors, which require different approaches. Especially during major transition years (into middle school or into high school), t(w)eens who have previously had an easy time with homework may not be accustomed to the increased amounts of homework. With the added homework, they may be having difficulty trying to fit in all of the activities they previously were able to complete in the afternoons. In these cases, helping your t(w)eens break homework assignments into smaller, more manageable chunks will allow them to accomplish more without feeling so overwhelmed.
Another cause of these behaviors could be the effects of the physical change associated with puberty. Adolescents typically experience a shifting biological clock that tends to make them fall asleep later in the evening and want to sleep later in the morning. When they are forced to wake up earlier than their biological clocks want them to, they need to expend extra energy throughout the day to pay attention and function without getting into trouble.
By the end of the school day they may be exhausted, either physically or emotionally from this process, which can be accompanied by mood swings and tantrums. These t(w)eens may find success with having a break time after school to reorganize themselves and calm down while having a set time to complete homework later in the evening. In some cases, these t(w)eens may also find some success by having part of their homework put off until the next morning when they are rested after a good night’s sleep, but this should only be done with careful planning to make sure that there is enough time to complete the work.
The environment where t(w)eens complete homework may have something to do with the behaviors, too. If their homework area has a lot of distractions, such as the TV, people passing through, or little workspace, they may be overwhelmed by these distractions. Creating a space that is clear and free from distractions can help increase focus, which leads to completed work.
When nothing else works
Sometimes, there are causes for these behaviors that are beyond the immediate control of the t(w)een and the parents. It is important that you maintain open communication with all of your t(w)eens’ teachers. T(w)eens may struggle in one subject because of the amount of time dedicated to the homework from another class. By keeping up-to-date with the homework assignments, you can help your t(w)eens to prioritize their time in order to be successful in all of their subject areas.
In other cases, your t(w)eens may need extra support outside of school. If it is solely an academic issue, this may mean having a tutor to help with extra lessons and practice. In the event that these behaviors don’t stop or have been continuing for more than a few weeks, you may want to consult with a counselor familiar with these issues to help your t(w)eens manage their stress and anxiety and explore if there are other underlying issues. These types of outside help can assist you in developing a homework program that minimizes the tension between t(w)eens and in the parents
No comments:
Post a Comment