In the eyes of many t(w)eens’ parents, drugs and alcohol seem to be everywhere. And if parents are noticing the exposure, it’s probably a safe bet that the t(w)eens are noticing it, too. It doesn’t even have to be direct exposure to drugs and alcohol. Take Twilight for example, which is a movie geared to t(w)eens. Edward tells Bella that she “is (his) brand of heroin.” Knowing that t(w)eens are in an ever-present state to act more grown up, imagine what they are being exposed to while watching more mature movies.
How bad is it?
In a word: bad. The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Colombia University calls adolescent substance use “America’s #1 Health Problem.” They estimate that over 90% of people addicted to substances started using before age 18. Further, they estimate that 28% of the population with substance use disorders started using before age 15 and 75% of high school students had used addictive substances at least once before graduation.
Why are these numbers so high? First of all, the adolescent brain is much more prone to risk-taking behaviors. This leads to adolescents putting themselves in physical danger or experimenting with substances. Second, changes that a brain undergoes during adolescence leaves it more vulnerable to damages from substances, including addiction. In essence, the t(w)eens are shaping their brains for a lifetime of behaviors. Lastly, t(w)eens tend to believe that they are the exception to any statistics, which leads them to engage in more risky behaviors.
There are other risk factors that make the situation even scarier. T(w)eens that come from families with a history of substance abuse disorders are more likely to experiment, use, and become addicted to substances. Also, the risk increases if there is a history of abuse, victimization or bullying, or mental or behavioral health problems. Juvenile offenders, school dropouts, child welfare recipients, and t(w)eens in the sexual minority all have increased substance abuse rates as well. It’s no surprise that many of these are the same risk factors that affect adult substance users as well. Based on the research, those adults most likely began using as t(w)eens.
But can’t they just say no?
T(w)eens seem to only say no to their parents, but when it comes to drugs and alcohol, they don’t have the same power. Abstinence programs, such as the D.A.R.E. program, have been shown to be ineffective at best, and can actually encourage t(w)eens to use drugs and alcohol. By suggesting that peer pressure is around every corner, the message becomes “everybody is using but you.” This type of message may push socially anxious t(w)eens to use drugs to try to fit in with social groups. In 2001, the U.S. Surgeon General placed the D.A.R.E. program on the government’s “Does Not Work” programs list and in 2009 the Association for Psychological Science named it as a “treatment with the potential to cause harm.”
Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign fared better in estimated effectiveness than the D.A.R.E. program. This campaign made it’s way into mainstream media, including on many TV shows that were geared toward t(w)eens at the time. However, this program has been criticized as being too simplistic in that it does not distinguish between drug use (limited quantities on limited occasions) and drug abuse (large quantities, dependence on the drugs, or suffering from withdrawals). It also did not distinguish between legal (prescriptions) and illegal drugs. Further, the program did not identify that some drugs, such as nicotine and alcohol are legal for adults and illegal for t(w)eens. This lead to many t(w)eens identifying that it’s okay to use based on a parent’s use (a glass of wine with dinner).
If I talk, they’ll listen!
Not quite. A 1999 anti-smoking campaign initiated by Phillip Morris (yes, the tobacco company) had the tagline “Talk: They’ll Listen.” The campaign suggested that parents open up discussions with their t(w)eens about the dangers of smoking and tell their t(w)eens to not smoke. And if t(w)eens do anything well, it is doing the exact opposite of whatever their parents tell them. The American Journal of Public Health found that for each of these parent-targeted ads that high school students saw in a 30-day period, they were 12% more likely to smoke than their peers who didn’t see the ads.
So, what does work?
These programs all have something in common: a zero-tolerance, line-in-the-sand approach. T(w)eens are anxious to rebel against their parents, so these approaches only tell them what they need to do to break the rules.
All-or-nothing approaches aren’t the only ways to address t(w)eens when it comes to talking about substances. The most important thing that you can do is age-old adage of “actions speak louder than words.” Setting the example, no matter the substance, decreases t(w)eens’ ideas of how many people actually use the substances. It also provides the t(w)eens less access to substances, as they cannot take alcohol or tobacco from your supply.
You can also forbid guests and other people from smoking in your home, car, or place of business. Also, let your kids know that you support anti-drug and anti-smoking laws. Talk to your kids about how alcohol and tobacco ads target t(w)eens and only glamorize the positive aspects of recreational use, but often fail to show negative aspects and long-term consequences.
It’s also important to repeat your message. T(w)eens generally don’t tend to hang onto life lessons after only one discussion. By keeping up with the message, you are making sure that they continue to hear you and hear how important the meaning of the message is to you. No matter how many times you hear, “I know,” it is best to continue to communicate the same message.
What if my t(w)een is already using?
The most important step is to present a united front with your spouse or whoever else is responsible for raising your t(w)eens. Being on the same page going into the conversation prevents your t(w)eens from being able to change the topic from their drug use into an argument about undermining each other. Next, gather any evidence that you may have of their substance use, whether it’s paraphernalia, photos, or something else, having something to back up your suspicions allows for you to maintain your course.
Emotionally, expect to hear lies and denial from your t(w)een, and expect to be called a hypocrite. You may hear, “But you smoke!” You can talk about it being legal for adults, but also point out the adverse health effects and how difficult it is to stop once you have started. You may also hear, “But you smoked pot when you were my age!” This is a time to stick to the issue at hand, which is your t(w)eens’ drug use and how you don’t want them to be using substances. You can address your past wrong choices during another conversation, but the focus of this conversation is about your t(w)een.
Before you begin talking, have an idea about what you expect from the conversation, the consequences you will hand out, and the rules that you will set for the future. A realistic expectation for most conversations about substance use is that the t(w)eens will not admit to it. Also, make sure that the rules that you set are realistic and are going to be enforceable. If you don’t have the ability to follow through on rules that you set, your t(w)eens will not have any reason to follow the rules.
Finally, remember that you are coming from the position of a loving, caring parent. Even for the amount of anger that the situation may cause, remind yourself and your t(w)eens that this is about making healthy choices and making sure that everyone is protected and safe. Remind them that they have your support when dealing with personal issues, and remind them that they have other adults to talk to if they aren’t sure how to talk to you at first, such as teachers and counselors.
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